Saturday, May 8, 2010

On Dating like a Dude.

A few years ago, I dealt with a horrible break up. Afterward, being that emotionally close to someone again was unfathomable, so instead, I began to a man. And I dated a lot. I enjoyed the company, but I was noncommittal. When I was done dating someone, I just stopped calling. I told one guy to, "Call me when his period was over." Although I was a bit hardened, frankly, it was kinda fun.

There were a few guys I dated with whom I attempted to build something more, but for some reason or another, they weren't right for me. This continued until last fall when *gasp* I opened up and started to really feel again. Long story short, the feelings weren't mutual and that's why I'm back to dating like a dude.

There's something oddly comforting about dating this way. It creates a shield that protects me from the pain of a break up by not letting anyone really affect me. I'm strong and a staunch defender of myself. I know what I will and will not put up with, and I'm vocal about it, whether it's right, wrong, positive or negative.

This doesn't mean that I'm a cold, calculating bitch. One of the nicest compliments a boyfriend gave me was that I was one of the most affectionate people he knew. I'm loving...I just might not fall in love with you. For now, that's not bad. It's not what I ultimately want in my life but until I'm ready to open up again, and this time, with the right person, my shield is up.


  1. You're the only dude I'd ever date.
    -Tony A Moore

  2. "I'll let you break me off, but I won't let you break my heart."

  3. I gotta say, despite the cultural stereotypes that exist, in my experience being noncommittal/non-caring, not calling back when you're "done", etc are far more characteristic of girls than of guys (my present girlfriend not included). It's possible I've just chosen shitty girls in the past, but most of them have been that way, and most of the guys I know are much more thoughtful than that in dealing with girls.

    Another thing: I think saying what you want, being a "staunch defender of yourself" and being vocal about your thoughts are things which are quite different from being emotionally detached and flighty and are things that guys who don't like stupid, boring girls are attracted to.